For future reference

Everdearest Xavi,

You've taught me a valuable life lesson this week.  I'm writing to make sure I remember to pay it forward, for future reference.

In the past few days, your behaviour and attitude haven't been the absolute best.  It's been consistently slipping, and I started to worry.  I sometimes remind myself that you're only 4 years old, and I've also been teaching you to take responsibility for your own actions. It's a tricky line!  I try not to make excuses for you, but I do think there's an underlying reason for the noticeable change.

As your mom, I feel like it's my responsibility to create a positive environment and optimal conditions to bring out the best in you.  This usually means giving you enough sleep (and food), a routine, and encouraging your strengths..  It also includes removing you from overwhelming situations, letting your process your emotions and talking things out when you're ready. 

Some may argue that I'm sheltering you.  That one day, you're going to have to face the world, and protecting you from the negative aspects will put you at a disadvantage.  I do believe in exposure.  And I believe in letting you learn about conflict and relationships.  But at this age, I think it should be under the right circumstances with consistent guidance.  I aim to provide that for you.

My ultimate goal is to show you that it's possible to create this environment for yourself.  As an adult, you'll have the power to surround yourself with positive influences and put yourself in the best type of situations for growth.  You'll learn to identify your triggers - both good an bad - so that you learn to channel them productively.  

This week, you've reminded me that not only can I do this for you, but I have to continue doing it for myself.  It's so important for me to teach by example, and my every day actions will have more impact than this single letter.  Let's both choose to focus on the positives, so that we can give the best of ourselves to everyone around us.

Always growing, 
Your mama,