always here, always there

Everdearest Amelia,

About this time last year, we were mourning the loss of you.  It made me sad, gave me strength, and continues to teach me lessons.  

Today, you are allowing me to appreciate that balance is still possible.  As I celebrate Logan's birth, I also miss the possibility of you.  I do both wholeheartedly, which is the blessing of a parent - being able to expand your heart for each child, independently and as a family.  No individual feeling takes away from another, in the same way each child becomes a piece of you.  There is room for all of it.

I'm sure that a part of your spirit will make its way into Logan's heart in the same way Xavi carries you in his.  When your brother was born, Xavi said  "Logan came out because he wanted to se the world.  But my sisters didn't...why, mama?"
Heartbreaking.  At the same time, it heals me to know that he remembers and talks about you often.  I couldn't have asked for a more loving big brother for the three of you.

You are remembered, baby girl.

Love,
Mama.