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Everdearest Aurora and Amelia,
There are days that go by that I don't miss you. That's a truth that I've learned to express without guilt. It doesn't mean I love you any less. I love you more and more every day, just as much as if you'd been born. Even in spirit, you've both grown in the spaces of our hearts. I feel it every time Xavi and I talk about you, every time I think about planning a vacation (since we canceled so many with your pregnancies), every time I see a mama interact with her daughter. We just celebrated Logan's first birthday, and I think about how lucky I was to have been blessed with three babies in a period of one year. Three times the love, even if it came with more heartache. I think the pain of it has subsided. So it's not that I miss you less. It's that I accept it more. I accept the brief time you came into our lives, along with the beautiful moments you've allowed us to appreciate. I accept that we lost you, and appreciate that we found ourselves. I accept that it was out of my control, and appreciate that I can still choose happiness. I accept that I went through it twice, and appreciate the different lessons that came each time. And still today. And though there are days when it's easier to deal with your loss, it still creeps up on me sometimes. I still miss you, with every fiber of my mama being. I wish I could hold you, and hug you, and whisper in your ear like I do with your brothers. I wish I could see you all be with each other, building friendships. (Yes, I know the timeline wouldn't work out quite that way.) I wish a lot of things, but mostly that we all continue to be united as a family. Know that you are two important puzzle pieces that complete the picture, and forever a part of us. Always and every day. Your mama, missed.
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